All kinds of things run in and out of my mind.Good stuff, silly stuff, absurd, interesting, terrifying, exotic, blessings, children, hope.
I constantly take deep breathes, reminding myself, I am NOT my thoughts, & I smile. I take another deeep breathe, and a good look around, reminding myself of the lucky life I live, fortunate.
In the end, only kindness matters.
There is ONLY love.Everything else is an illusion.
In order to carry the light, to allow your lifht to shine, you must polish. You must tend to the dirty stuff, inside and out.
Some of the stuff takes only a moment, only a thought, and the dirt is gone.
Other areaas however may take some swet, tears & gears.
Sometimes, after grueling heartbreak, you may go back & find there's still some there, or worse, it's back.
These spots are there because in a moment of reflection, grace & forgiveness was never given. A view from another perspective, a lesson learned.
This light I pray to be let through requires me to let go of ALL the bullshit, the fear, the sadness. It requires me to believe, to have all the faith in this world, into the unseen.
I am learning to flow. I am becoming one, one with all.
Long, long, long ago... we agreed to do this together. You help me, I'll help you.
It's easier, together. It allows us to laugh with each other & at each other. To have fun.
& that, is really all it's about.
The journey, called life.
xoxo
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
human emotion in words
I began realizing the effects of our feelings and their relation to emotions and the language we use to express them. In observation, I noticed that for the most part, we humans expressed only a few symniotic feeling words; okay, good, happy, mad, sad, pissed, depressed, fine, alright, and really mad.
I also realized that once we "decide" we are one of these description words, we can be there all day or even days if we want!
blah blah blah.
At some point I was driven to research lists of feeling words.
A few things happened as I began hanging these around the house.
When you read each word and give yourself a moment to feel the chemical release each of them provide.
The emotion is much easier to
#1 Realize
#2 understand
#3 let go
when it's broken down into a more descriptive word.
It's amazing how quickly we can go from one vivid emotion to the next in mere moments.
I noticed that the words descriptive of my feelings at the time would jump off the page at me.
I chose to write each word in different colors and fonts to approach it's effects.
The only thing I have to say is, try it :)
okay.
Here's something I really don't understand, something I am praying for some clarity and understanding.
WHY?
Ha ha, coming home has reminded me that I have ALL-WAYS been a Why "ask-er".
One day, while asking my mom why, why, why... she yelled, "I don't know Justina!".
I felt 6 again instantly. I remembered hearing those words directed at my constant inquiry, often.
It's only now, as a big girl, finally, that I can see how the answer is "I don't know!".
The line of questioning at that time is still burning in my ear. (I should let you know that the day they laid the first piece of pavement on this island, I sat watching, holding my breathe, crying. I couldn't believe they were letting this happen. The smell still makes me wince).
Okay, this leads to the line of questioning. My mom was happy to get an application for some road crew that got the job to pave a 3 million $ road from a little tiny logging town (population 199) to a private fishing resort, paid for by the government as a plan for more jobs?
I do not participate in public broadcasting services in any form, I certainly do not allow my sacred self to hear ANY part of the "news" so, I'm a little slow sometimes at the politics of the world or whatever. I hear that the "president" cut school $....again, music/library/sports and opened up umpteen millions of $ for more oil paved roads? to nowhere?
wtf?
Is anyone concerned?
Wondering Why?
Is this okay? Or just another one of those things we don't understand and still, we allow it to happen.
Which leads me to the real questions this blog demands from me.....
We (maybe) have established that our government has been created with a demand for money and power. They have left humanity and it's needs out of the equation of the foundation. Therefore we are not even a consideration. There are only 2 focuses, money and power. Are we on the same page? This is how things like oil paved roads come before our children and our welfare.
SO, now we find ourselves ill. In someway or another EVERYONE you know is ill.
Are we asking why?
To obtain power: control the money and the people.
To control the money: print it.
To control the people: own the food and the water supply.
The water and the food supply have been contaminated. We are being controlled by the food. We are being made stupid. Flouride's purpose is to calcify your pineal gland, the you. Flouride is making us docile (to lazy to care or stand up)
In our food we are given illness's such as ADHD, Diabetes, high blood pressure just with fake sugars alone.
Now we must take the pharmaceuticals (that are killing us) to lesson the symptoms and that require more pharmaceuticals?
There are very few reasons all of us will give up everything we have worked for.
#1 a family members health
#2 a family in trouble with "our" law
I believe all of us have a few family members that are in one or both of these situations. Dying of cancer or sitting in jail.
I'm getting a little off track here.
We have established the idea that whoever it is in power will say and do anything possible to keep the illusioned "power".
Is it unreasonable to suggest that there is some kind of "un-natural, natural selection going on? That there is a reason the market is FLOODED with tobacco and alcohol? Two VERY addicting substances that are highly taxed are in every home I have come across in more ways than one.
The sad illness of alcoholism is abundant.
The best way to kill off a culture: give them a system that doesn't work in the first place.
The best way to kill off the weak/poor: feed them cheap food made with chemicals. followed by chemical medicine
The best way to kill the mind: feed it an addiction it will carry as it's own. Rather than the epidemic it has become.
The best way to kill the human emotion: separate the people, let them put themselves in separate living pods, staring at screens that give the illusion of a life lived.
All country's, religions, and cultures in history, and it's stars have predicted this time in creation. A time when brother's will war with brother's, sisters will fight sister's, rains will fall, fires will flare, Will we succumb?
Nature will right itself EVERY TIME. If it feels like we (humans) are an illness, a cancer, it will rid itself of us.
Succumb? Why is this a word? Why is this an option?
WHY?
Ha ha, coming home has reminded me that I have ALL-WAYS been a Why "ask-er".
One day, while asking my mom why, why, why... she yelled, "I don't know Justina!".
I felt 6 again instantly. I remembered hearing those words directed at my constant inquiry, often.
It's only now, as a big girl, finally, that I can see how the answer is "I don't know!".
The line of questioning at that time is still burning in my ear. (I should let you know that the day they laid the first piece of pavement on this island, I sat watching, holding my breathe, crying. I couldn't believe they were letting this happen. The smell still makes me wince).
Okay, this leads to the line of questioning. My mom was happy to get an application for some road crew that got the job to pave a 3 million $ road from a little tiny logging town (population 199) to a private fishing resort, paid for by the government as a plan for more jobs?
I do not participate in public broadcasting services in any form, I certainly do not allow my sacred self to hear ANY part of the "news" so, I'm a little slow sometimes at the politics of the world or whatever. I hear that the "president" cut school $....again, music/library/sports and opened up umpteen millions of $ for more oil paved roads? to nowhere?
wtf?
Is anyone concerned?
Wondering Why?
Is this okay? Or just another one of those things we don't understand and still, we allow it to happen.
Which leads me to the real questions this blog demands from me.....
We (maybe) have established that our government has been created with a demand for money and power. They have left humanity and it's needs out of the equation of the foundation. Therefore we are not even a consideration. There are only 2 focuses, money and power. Are we on the same page? This is how things like oil paved roads come before our children and our welfare.
SO, now we find ourselves ill. In someway or another EVERYONE you know is ill.
Are we asking why?
To obtain power: control the money and the people.
To control the money: print it.
To control the people: own the food and the water supply.
The water and the food supply have been contaminated. We are being controlled by the food. We are being made stupid. Flouride's purpose is to calcify your pineal gland, the you. Flouride is making us docile (to lazy to care or stand up)
In our food we are given illness's such as ADHD, Diabetes, high blood pressure just with fake sugars alone.
Now we must take the pharmaceuticals (that are killing us) to lesson the symptoms and that require more pharmaceuticals?
There are very few reasons all of us will give up everything we have worked for.
#1 a family members health
#2 a family in trouble with "our" law
I believe all of us have a few family members that are in one or both of these situations. Dying of cancer or sitting in jail.
I'm getting a little off track here.
We have established the idea that whoever it is in power will say and do anything possible to keep the illusioned "power".
Is it unreasonable to suggest that there is some kind of "un-natural, natural selection going on? That there is a reason the market is FLOODED with tobacco and alcohol? Two VERY addicting substances that are highly taxed are in every home I have come across in more ways than one.
The sad illness of alcoholism is abundant.
The best way to kill off a culture: give them a system that doesn't work in the first place.
The best way to kill off the weak/poor: feed them cheap food made with chemicals. followed by chemical medicine
The best way to kill the mind: feed it an addiction it will carry as it's own. Rather than the epidemic it has become.
The best way to kill the human emotion: separate the people, let them put themselves in separate living pods, staring at screens that give the illusion of a life lived.
All country's, religions, and cultures in history, and it's stars have predicted this time in creation. A time when brother's will war with brother's, sisters will fight sister's, rains will fall, fires will flare, Will we succumb?
Nature will right itself EVERY TIME. If it feels like we (humans) are an illness, a cancer, it will rid itself of us.
Succumb? Why is this a word? Why is this an option?
suc·cumb/səˈkəm/
| Verb: |
| |
| Synonyms: | die - surrender - yield - submit - give in How about instead we say NO. How about we get pissed at the "things" we need to be pissed at. Not the messengers, not your family, not those who love you.... The things that have taken over YOUR life and YOUR mind.. Demand something different. You are what you eat. The fuel you put in your vessel matters. If your only putting in cheap and easy... the results are cheap and easy. It is not anyone's fault. Just stop participating. Stop allowing our government to make you pay to kill yourself. If God didn't make it, you don't need it. Simply. Your mind is so powerful and valuable, those in power will do anything to stop you from realizing this. What I don't understand is how sad and hurtful alcoholism is and how taboo the subject. It is killing most of us. All of us know someone that drinks enough to hurt. On our trip across the country I saw ghost towns, too many of them. Entire towns.... dead. At a gas station, I witnessed a little girl begging her mom to buy her some cranberry juice. The mom got it priced and yelled " $5? Are you kidding, No WAY! That's way to much, I'll take a pack of Marlboro's" ($8). Made my stomach sick. I wish I would have bought that girl her juice. When I got here, I was talking to my dad about our choice to change our life style, completely. I was saying how an apple has more energy than a cup of coffee... He replied, "yeah, well an apple's damn near $2 bucks here, I ain't paying that kind of money!" He had a beer in his hand. (it cost's more and you can drink a lot more of them than you can eat apples in a day). I am glad to be home. I have been looking for the understanding I am finding here. It has been a long journey, my heart has been here all these years, I am understanding why. I am here for a reason, God has a lot of faith in me, more than I can even believe. I will not falter, I will stand and follow his calling. I have been praying for doors to open and be seen. I have come filtering energy and sharing love, at times this is tough... in the end, it shall be rewarding for "everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay, it's not the end. xoxoxoxoxoxo justina  | |
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