racing thoughts

My mind has been racing for days, actually, make that years. The last couple days though, it's been a bit much. I feel like I am under an attack. I feel like there's an airport in my head, a spaceship-port more like, and they are fast.
I have so much being held in, so many ideas.
My thoughts are racing so fast I am having a hard time writing this. In between the last line and this one, I stopped typing for 10 minutes and had 4 million thoughts come and go, each one feeling just as important as the other.
I have some ideas in my head, HUMONGOUS ideas and a bunch of little ones darting in and out. I have a bunch of things I actually have to do in order to get the results I am wanting, and here I sit.
Christmas is really hitting everyone hard this year, we are not excluded from this. I am having a hard time shopping for my kids; I am  not going to buy things that will be tossed aside for next seasons must haves. I am aware of the millions of families suffering and I feel like I should be out there making a difference, offering my talents.
(Writing helps in settling my thoughts. I can feel them all getting in line as I type. I guess they see they have an outlet and that the easiest way to get through is to stand in line and wait their turn.)
back to xmas? I didn't plan a christmas baking night this year, knowing the importance of inviting a few girls over to bake a bunch of xmas candy and cookies.  I am choosing instead to make sugar cookies with Taylor and a few of her friends. 10 year olds rock.
I am entertaining (pretty much full time) the idea of a global villiage. HUGE. I am also storing this idea in my head. This one idea is living in my mind taking up a lot of space, it is trying to remember millions of things at a time causing an enormous amount of forgetting things, and not being able to prioritize, and being a complete ditz. It is hard for me to hold a conversation. I know what I could do to allow the ideas flow easily onto paper, Now I will do it.
THANK YOU JUSTINA.
Sitting and writing brought me from AAAAAAAARGH to knowing what step I need to take first. NOW.
Staples, here I come.
xoxoxxoxxoxox

LOVE

Just as I begin to forget,
a moment is created,
an energy is released,
and I am aware of you,
I remember all over again.

Millions have sung about a love like ours,
Thousands of hours have been spent
searching for the perfect words.
Lifetimes have come and gone,
hoping simply to have a taste.
xoxo
justina kerstein

Love.

Who are "they"?
that make us believe
this is life?

That we have no choice
in how we receive.

Close your eyes,
take a deep breathe.
Feel the pulse,
embrace the magic,
hear  your voice.

The leaves of a tree
are as separate as can be,
each drawing energy from the universal
air, earth, fire and sea.
The same as you and me.

We are separated in body,
joined together in soul,
united as one,
we live our common goal.

The "they's" have no say
over the direction of our growth,
a simple me,
in a world of we.
xoxo
Justina Rae

peace and simplicity

“Simplicity is the essence of happiness.” - Cedric Bledsoe

It's been a over a year since I took the drastic step toward simplicity. I found myself surrounded by reminders of my past and hopes for a different life; old pictures of friends and family that have passed on, and pictures of the way things used to be.  This is unhealthy, it kept my mind "there" more than I even realized....
I went from room to room and cleaned out EVERYTHING.  A girlfriend gave some good advice, "if you wouldn't take it with you on a move to a different country, get rid of it". I boxed up all my pictures of then, and threw them up in the attic.
The difference it has made in all of our lives is AMAZING!
It's easier to clean for one thing, it's also much easier to stay in the NOW!
peace and simplicity,
justina

old diet blog...

My cousin Margaret called today and asked me to email her my diet. To clarify, she said "just what you eat, and what you don't eat"!

First things first.
If you are thinking about changing your lifestyle, the first thing that I recommend is a full body cleanse.  In April of '08 I was introduced to "The Master Cleanser" diet. (This is the diet that David Blaine uses before stunts) This flush cleans your entire body from top to bottom; every organ, vein, artery, pore, colon, intestines, and most importantly, your mind.
Your mind goes through an enormous paradigm change. Only in America do we believe we must not only eat EVERY day, but 3 times a day!! It has a hard time accepting the fact that you are not going to eat.  Considering we are in a habit of eating 3 times a day, take a second to think about how much time you spend thinking about what to eat, shopping, preparing and actually eating each meal, then consider taking all of that time and thinking about something else. This is the mind cleanse!

Your tongue gets a white furry coating on it, this is how the toxins get out. It is recommended to continue the cleanse until your tongue turns back to pink. It took 7 days and I lost my first 12 lbs.

It is crazy come day 5, watching other people eat. WOW. Somehow we have come to a point where we are embarrased to eat? I watch people eating (especially fast food) and there is a rat like approach; nervous, fast and embarrased. I also really started thinking how easy it is for us to access and eat meat, from real alive animals.

Imagine for a minute if you will how much meat an average family eats in a week? How much does your neighborhood consume? In a month?
Let's go back, waaaay back.
Men went on hunting trips away from their families, for days. When and if the hunt was successful a celebration was had by all. The animal was hung, skinned, salted and stored for special occasions. When the time came to eat it, a prayer was said and everyone gave appreciation to the animal that gave it's life. They were also sure to use EVERY part. (ever thought about where all our waste goes?)
Today, we drive through McDonald's and eat a cow without thinking twice.

Let's add another perspective;
EVERYTHING in this world has a balance. Up/down, hot/cold, love/hate, black/white, birth/death etc.,etc.,etc.
What kind of balance are we creating when we are creating life and killing it at the rate we are? Not just breeding, plumping and killing all these animals, but not even taking a moment to be thankful for the life.
Someone told me that it takes 3 days for a chicken to be born and put on a table.
I become a vegetarian on Thanksgiving day.
The only regret that I have? That I spent 30 years of my life eating TERRIBLE food.
There are millions of "animal" alternatives, even for you meat lovers!

Seeds; sesame seeds, hemp seeds, chai seeds........... Packed with protein, vitamins, hormone balance, nutrients, vitamins. Put 'em in and on everything!
Nuts. YUM.
Beans, get creative. There are many different ways to incorporate them.
Soy, tofu, and even chicken that tastes much better than a chicken.

FRUITS. Always have 1 with you. Choose a fruit first. If that is not enough, then choose something else. Banana's (contrary to popular belief) are a great bedtime snack. They contain L-triptothan, the same stuff in turkey to help you sleep. The fructose (sugars) will set your metabolism in motion!
VEGETABLES. I have found 100+ varieties I never knew existed and more ways to use them. Add them to everything. Make a salad EVERY night for dinner. Eat it first.
(pureed squashs can be used to thicken sauces and no one will even know)!

Move away from 3 meals a day. We tend to starve waiting for our scheduled eating and then purge, on time!
Carry healthy snack with you and eat when you are hungry. 6-7 meals a day really is easier, healthy and cheaper.
Rearrange your cupboard, put medium salad plates eye level and put the giant plates way up top. Your stomach is the size of your closed fist, or should be.

Excema? indigestion? gas? allergies? ulcers? Colds? acid reflux? Mucus? fat?.....milk.
Please, really consider eating alternatives. They are soooooo much more delicious, digestable, and good for you!
dairy. Milk from cows is designed to make BIG FAT COWS. period.
GROSS.
There are MANY awesome, scrumptous alternatives. We drink; hemp, rice, oat, almond, and soy milk regularly. They make "better than" sour cream, cream cheese etc. We eat rice, soy and veggie cheeses, icecreams etc.
There is a "mayonaise" alternative by vegenaise that is made from grape seeds. Grape seeds are used to help chloresterol and heart disease. You mayonaise lovers can eat up and help your heart! It's BETTER tasting than Hellman's or Best Foods!

corn. Corn is not digestable by the human body (everyone knows how it comes out) You know that hard fat that will NOT go away? High fructose corn syrup. It must be taken out of our foods, the only way to make that happen is to stop consuming it. Corn is great for things like fuel, plastic like (biodegradable) products etc.

Enriched Flour/rice. To enrich our products, "they" have taken ALL of the vitamins and nutrients out (they give them to cows so they can get bigger faster) and give us the "filler".  Eating foods made with filler creates big problems. Your body has to consume an irrational amount of it in order to get the nutrients it needs so it can send out the signal, "I'm full". Insist on using whole grains. You will eat less and weigh less.

"artificial" flavoring/coloring. What is this? What is it doing to our bodies? our brains? Find out before you put anymore of it in your temple.

Omega's, 3-6-9 (fish oil). In the processing of food, all of the essential oils are taken out. Key word; essential. Omega's are found in many foods, the highest in Alaskan Salmon. They help lubricate your entire body and you can see and feel the difference in everything; skin, memory, joints, back, hair, sight, blood pressure, breathing. Without essential oils, we are like a car with no oil, or dirty, sludgy oil.

Many people complain about the price of whole foods vs. poisonous. First, you don't have to eat as much so you don't have to buy as much. Second, are you calculating in all the doctor bills associated with eating processed foods? Third, there is NO price on the changes living healthy brings.

These changes were brought about one by one, slowly. The kids and I take a daily vitamin and an omega, all of us report "feeling different, a good different". Smiles are brought to my face daily watching my children choose healthy for themselves.

I have officially lost 30 lbs., I think 10lbs came from my head. A healthy body helps create a healthy, calm mind.

Let me know how your doing, let's share some yummy healthy recipes!
Take care of yourself, you're all you've got....
xoxoxo
justina

The secret of the ages by robert collier

The Secret of the Ages
This book was written in 1926 and was in it's 27th edition in 1975. Robert Collier talks about the world we are living in NOW, in the 21st century and how we have begun the evolution of our minds. Here is a part out of the book that really made me go hmmmmm.

~We bemoan the loss of our forests. We worry over our dwindling resources of coal and oil. We decry the waste in our factories. But the greatest waste of all, we pay no attention to-the waste of our own potential mind power. Professor Wm. James, the world-famous Harvard psychologist, estimated that the average man uses only 10% of his mental power. He has unlimited power-yet he uses but a tithe of it. Unlimited wealth all about him-and he doesn't know how to take hold of it. With God-like powers slumbering within him, he is content to continue in his daily grind-eating, sleeping, working-plodding through an existence little more eventful than the animals'. while all of Nature, all of life, calls upon him awaken, to bestir himself.~

10%? 10%! 10%? yes. 10%

WTF? isn't anyone concerned about this? there is 90% of our brain just sitting there, chillen. Seriously. This is a really big deal to me, I am on a mission to find out about this other 90% and I want to know what in the world is going on with our people. We are becoming drones. Wake up, go to work, come home, eat, sit in front of a screen and believe everything that is said as if it's not only true, but the "way it is".  Then, you wake up and do it all over again, everyday.    All the while of course, giving your hard earned money to the dozen men that are making all the decisions.
We have gotten ourselves into big trouble here, there is only one way to "fix" it all and that is by changing our minds. Refuse to be told what to believe, question everything you think you believe. Find out what the other 90% of your mind is up to. Listen to the things you say, what do they really mean? What are you spending your time thinking about? It's scary, it's hard, and it is sooo worth it. Call it forward, open your mind. There, you will find the "you" you've been searching for, "you", will be the "happy" you've always wanted to be, you will be whole.

LOVE, love, Love, LOVE, loVe, lOvE, love, LOVE.
Be patient and kind to yourself.
xoxo justina

How many zeros in a billion?

This is too true to be funny.
The next time you hear a politician use the
word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about
whether you want the 'politicians' spending
YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend,
but one advertising agency did a good job of
putting that figure into some perspective in
one of its releases.

A.
A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

B.
A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

C.
A billion hours ago our ancestors were
living in the Stone Age.

D.
A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E.
A billion dollars ago was only
8 hours and 20 minutes,
at the rate our government
is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain...
let's take a look at  New Orleans  .
It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.

Louisiana Senator,
Mary Landrieu (D)
is presently asking Congress for
250 BILLION DOLLARS
to rebuild  New Orleans  . Interesting number...
what does it mean?

A.
Well.... if you are one of the 484,674 residents of  New Orleans
(every man, woman, and child)
you each get $516,528.

B.
Or... if you have one of the 188,251 homes in
New Orleans  , your home gets $1,329,787..

C.
Or... if you are a family of four...
your family gets $2,066,012.

Washington  , D. C

HELLO!
Are all your calculators broken??

Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax (Fed)
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Tax
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
(And to think, we left British Rule to avoid so many taxes)

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...
and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.

We had absolutely no national debt...
We had the largest middle class in the world...
and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What happened?
Can you spell 'politicians!'

And I still have to
press '1'
for English.

What the heck happened?????

love. life.

I just need to ramble to myself and see it here in black and white.

Love. I find that the more I love myself, the more I am able to love others. Learning to love myself was much easier than I ever imagined. Granted I am pretty fabulous right from jump.... I've got a heart, a brain, some courage and I believe in magic. Being grateful for who I am and what I've got RIGHT now... continues to give more to be grateful for.

Life. Is completely amazing. Every single moment I spend in the now just completely fucking amazes me.  Synchronicity fills my days, I see meaning and love in everything. Whoever was responsible for the world we live in is a mind I'd love to meet.

Children. We have much to learn from our children, stop and listen to one today!

media/t.v. I dream of the day people become aware of the destruction our minds are going through. Please, for the love of humankind... kill your t.v.

Laws. The most challenging are the ones that you have made for yourself. Question them, all of them. Especially the scary ones.

Thoughts. Every single thing in the world began with a thought. Our thoughts are the golden key, the end of the rainbow, heaven or hell. What are yours up to? Pay very close attention to them. Are they living in fear or love? Hear the words you say to yourself and others, what do the REALLY mean? Are they helping or hindering? Choose them. Be patient, you say some crazy shit. Thoughts become things. CHOOSE.

They. Who are they? They that make you do this, make you think that? Who the hell are They? You. Me. Let's be a fabulous "they".

Judgement. stop it. EVERY single time you judge yourself or others, you will punish. No one and nothing can pass the high standards we set in our laws.

Change. Be very gentle with yourself. It took many years to create the habits you have now, it'll take time and patience to change them.

Fear. Our world has been living in fear for as long as we know. Let's change our minds. Are your thoughts fear based? or Love? Choose love, over and over and over again.

Now. now is all there is. Get out of your minds and look around, now is here for you... Each time you catch yourself talking/thinking about what was,  if only, tomorrow, this one time.... STOP, take a deeeeeeeep breathe. Feel your lungs work, feel the blood work through your hands, really look around and see your life. Pull yourself up (bird's eye view) and look at your life like a movie. Take your personal feelings out of the moment and just look at your setting, your actors, your story line... no judging. Breathe. There's some amazing shit going on, right NOW.

 peace.

2009 mother's day poem

I enjoyed a very grateful mother's day, out on the screened porch in jammies... all day. I spent a little time reading, a little writing, mostly just being aware. Hearing the song of the birds, watching the clouds dance, the leaves taunting the slight breeze...
The kids have their own; agendas, friends, plans etc., we have not ever put a lot into the holidays we are told to celebrate and frankly, mother's day wasn't any different. I'd like to believe they love me everyday rather than one special day a year!

Here's something I wrote while sitting there, thinking about how it felt to break down and give up. It turned into a personal prayer that I treasure.
Hope you find something you can take with you.
xoxo

Slowly, I began to realize the world did not revolve around me. That my life was not the reason for it's existence.

This shook me, I took notice of the desperation quivering in my voice. The internal earthquake was stretching it's arms, for the storm was just beginning to rise.
Every area of my mind was startled.

I was scrambling, desperately trying to grab on to anyone or anything. I could not find a foundation to stand upon. Over and over again I found myself on my knees, begging for mercy.
Lying in lies, surrounded by fear. Everything I tried to grab, shattered with my grasp.

Alone, everything I thought was real, gone.
Having no firm belief, no idea what faith really meant..........

Here I am, on my knees. Alone.

The tears have long dried, pointer finger exhausted, it can lift no more.
My heart, empty.

I surrender.

I surrender the need to do things my way, I surrender my life, my soul, my being unto you Dear God.

I can no longer walk, for I am tired.
I can no longer mother, for I am a child.

I must then ask, for you God, to carry me. Show me the way.
In my stillness, I beg of you to fill my heart with you love so I can share it with the world.
Receive my mind, for it's ability knows no limits.
My body, for it is healthy and strong.
My eyes, to see.

I give to you everything that I am, for I am your vessel.

jrk.

george carlin- the ride of your life

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever, even ham radio. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

reflections

I have been taking in an EXTREME amount of information that I have had a hard time processing; learning from and letting go. I was very aware today as the kids and I cleaned the house from top to bottom, inside and out. I become obsessed with moving EVERYTHING in order to sweep, mop/vaccuum behind it, including the fridge, stove, beds, dressers etc., etc. This is a physical process I take in order to clear my mind, to find any little bullshit hiding out.

It makes my head spin thinking about the changes that have gone on around here, it really just blows my mind. The only way that I could even explain it is that I went to a whole new frequency. I can pull myself up and look at my life like a movie and see all the different paths I have chosen to get myself here. I can see how all the shitty things were not just neccessary but critical, I can also see myself searching... every step of the way, for truth.

I'm sitting here, a beautiful, clean house, lonely for my husband, wishing I was home with my family, and enjoying my awesome children, saying a prayer for us all.
Loving a military man is in itself a challenge for anyone. Being a seeker of love and peace, makes the experience take on a whole new level.

Love.

xoxo

old blog... life, in the hood.

Good day.
A part of me thinks that my mind is to jumbled to be here writing a blog, the other says,"do it, now is always the perfect time!"
I spend most of my "free time" learning and asking questions of the world we live in.
I have learned more than I ever imagined when I started this quest.
My mind is engorged with the madness, yet I choose to BE in the state of grace.

It has been almost a year now since I have listened to the radio or watched tv. I do not read magazines or engage myself in conversations relating to any of the above.
This is an interesting aspect of my everyday life, it allows me to hear the birds chirp and remember all the good that is in our hearts.

It is my intention to find the medium that will let me share the knowledge I have discovered. I am learning to hear what people are meaning rather than listening to the words that are spoken.

I am aware of the difference one person can make to the world and I am opening my heart, my soul and my mind to receive.

The difference between religion and spirituality:
Religious people are afraid of Hell, Spiritual people have been to Hell, shook hands with the devil and now know that there is also a Heaven, here on earth.
Going through Hell, is something we must do in order to find Heaven. The dark, scary, alone place that we find ourselves in, is the place that we must open our eyes and see the open door. Hell is the place we must shed our ego selves and be reborn as the "I" we have been searching for.
This is the place that many get lost, they try so hard to fight against the truths of themselves and the world.
What seems like the "easy" way; numbing our minds, pushing our truths down and painting our smiles is only prolonging our time in hell.

Embrace the madness, love yourself, be patient with the habits that have taken a lifetime to create. Step by step, one step at a time.

Be love.

If you are a news watcher, take a minute today and ask yourself; is this the most important thing going on in our world? Are these the things I need to be worried about? Our entertainment industry is taking over our minds, this is not an accident. There are VERY rich people doing everything they can to make you and your children STUPID. They are filling your mind with nonsence so you don't make an effort to learn anything about what is REALLY going on.
The swine flu becomes an epidemic when they tell the world the symptoms over and over and over again on the news and the radio until everyone starts "thinking" they are developing them. Of course the symptoms are exactly the same as the cold that has been going around, only the cold will not kill, unless of course, you "THINK" it will.
It is critical to understand that our THOUGHTS BECOME THINGS.
Pay attention them, choose good ones.
xoxoxo

shout out... women!

Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.

2008 book review

When the heart waits by Sue Monk Kidd has come to me at the perfect time, not for one second did I doubt that it would. I have been struggling with the voice inside me that keeps telling me to just be patient and wait, it'll come...
I have been feeling a lot like the caterpillar turning into the butterfly. Thank God, I have survived the caterpillar life, I even made it through the part where I was convinced my life was over (as I knew it). It appears I am in the most important "stage" of the transformation.... the cocoon. It is my job to be patient, silent  and keep my faith. This book uses the butterfly as a point of relation to what is really going on and it also puts it God into perspective. I'm going to type out some of the parts that I have highlighted! Hope all is well for you and yours, and I hope that you are spending a lot of time laughing, laughing just makes everything better, doesn't it?  xoxoxo
Chapter one, the long way round: "Midway this way of life we're bound upon, I woke to find myself in a dark wood, Where the right road was wholly lost and gone.... It is so bitter it goes nigh to death".... Dante
"Patience is everything" Rainer Maria Rilke
The sacred intent of life, of God-to move us continuously toward growth, toward recovering all that is lost and orphaned within us and restoring the divine image imprinted on our soul.
Entering the question: To embark on this task involves a deep and profound movement of soul that takes us from an identification with the collective "they" to a discovery of the individual "I," and finally, as we shall eventually see, to an embracing of the compassionate "we."
In our youth we set up inner myths and stories to live by, but around the midlife juncture these patterns begin to crumble. It feels to us like a collapsing of all that is, but it's a holy quaking. "When order crumbles," writes John Shea, "Mystery rises."
"If you think God leads you only beside still waters, think again. God will also lead you beside turbulent waters. If you have the courage to enter, you'll think you're drowning. But actually you're being churned into something new. It's okay, dive in."
Chapter Two "Quickaholic Spirituality"
This chapter talks a lot about how our society as a whole has become a fast-paced, demanding world. We want everything NOW, fast food, microwaves, internet, space travel.... When it comes to your soul and spirituality, time  is not involved.
Waiting being the rawest kind of agony.... We want God to simply take away the masks we have spent a life time creating. We want Him to jump in and find the lost and neglected parts, to solve all our problems, heal wounds, alleviate the inexplicable sense of discontent and pain.... NOW! or at least very soon : )
"I hope you'll hear what I'm about to tell you. I hope you'll hear it all the way down to your toes. When you're waiting, you're not doing nothing. You're doing the most important something there is. You're allowing your soul to grow up. if you can't be still and wait, you can't become what God created you to be."
A lot of us have spent our lives in shortcut religion. we haven't been willing to face the fact that while the spiritual journey is joyous and full, it's also long and hard. It asks much-too much sometimes.
To grow up spiritually means having growing pains in the darkest part of the night.
We seem to have focused so much on exuberant beginnings and victorious ending that we've forgotten about the slow, sometimes tortuous, unraveling of God's grace that takes place in the "middle places" How did we ever get the idea that God would supply us on demand with quick fixes, that God is merely a rescuer and not a midwife?
That's all for now folks.... Let me know what you think? where are you in your journey?  This awakening is much easier if you have a companion, a friend, a soul mate... Someone to share your experience with, to lean on, to hold up... Usually you find a friend like this in the most unusual place, somewhere you never even thought to look.  A big shout out to my "soul mates".... Thank You, from the very depths of my soul.
xoxoxo and laughs!
justina

signs of love, around the house

I did a major "spring cleaning" last winter(08). I took out all of the things that made me think of what was, and what I wish was... I packed up all the old pictures of yesterdays, got rid of all the knick knacks of the past, and simplified each and every area of my home. I wrote up some great sayings on pieces of poster board.

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us" 

Ralph Waldo Emerson 

(this is also a treasured bracelet my Aunt Vera bought for me years ago, it took years to realize and live it's meaning)

"Choose what ignites your passion, turns you on, makes you laugh, inspires you, touches you deeply, tickles your curiousity, opens your heart, and propels you into new worlds. Life on purpose is simply taking all the elements of belief-intellect and awareness, intention and intent, emotion and your ability to dream, and awakening to their immense power". Beliefworks by Ray Dodd

"life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So, love the people who treat you right, and forget about the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance; take it. If it changes your life; let it. Nobody said that it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it".

BE HERE NOW!!!

Create a WIN/WIN scenario

Integrity, Grace, Humility, Compassion, Courage, Honor, Wit, Spontaneity, Reverence, Genius.

Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much

"that I may dwell in the house of the Lord, all the days of my life". 

(I found this at a craft show years ago and bought it. At the time, I had no idea why. I was not "into" God, and I had no idea what this meant, but I bought it and put it above my fire place... years later, to me it now means to live in awareness, is to live in the house of the Lord. Exactly what I live to do each and every day.)

I have a collection of poster boards with feeling words on them, I realized that I was living in a box of just a few emotions. I felt like I used 4 feelings; mad, happy, sad and pissed off. I found breaking them down, not categorizing them into such big words, they are much easier to get through and usually only last a few seconds..not all day as I used to believe. Here are some feeling words from the poster board beside the computer:
Affectionate, confident, shaken, empathetic, just, fierce, restless, worrow, spirited, loyal, patient, able, glad, defective, powerful, healthy, skeptical, blunt, generous, jilted, durable, inadequate, cooperative, fidgety, mild, horrified, kind, warm, excluded, silly, inspired, bewildered, insecure, enraged, kaput, enthusiastic, desperate, inerested, trivial, anzious, baffled, shy, amazed, intense, small, useless, jubilant, timid, savage, infuential, thoughtful, intimidated, cross, relaxed.
I have these printed in different colors and sizes and styles. It draws your eyes to different words each time you look at it, and I find that your eyes seem to draw towards your feelings in the moment... try it!
and last but not least, again... and possibly again later ; )

The Four Agreements:
Be Impeccable with your word: speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the POWER of your word int he direction of truth and love.
Don't Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say is projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needles suffering.
Don't Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions, and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, drama and sadness. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment. It will be different when you are healthy opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Love to all of you, may your journey be as quick and painless as possible...
xoxoxo justina

Dare to.....

Ask for what you want
Believe in yourself
Change your mind
Do what you love
Enjoy each and every day
Follow your heart's desire
Give more than you receive
Have a sense of humor
Insist on being yourself
Join in more
Kiss and make up
Love and be loved
Make new freinds
Nurture your spirit
Overcome adversity
Play more
Question conformity
Reach for the stars
Speak your truth
Take personal responsibiliy
Understand more, judge less
Volunteer your time
Walk through fear
X-perience the moment
Yearn for grace
be Zany.
A poster on our bathroom wall.

2009 notebook

I got this lil' notebook I have been carrying around. I wrote in it listening to Ethan play while dreaming about the network... I am writing them here, just to organize and find the cool stuff for the grapevine... (the lines I stole from a song or whatever, I am putting in italics)

Somewhere, we get lost in our minds. We forget to be grateful for every moment. We start thinking what if & if only.  The human mind is amazing, that we don't use it, is tragic.

The chatter, constant, never shuts up in my mind. None of it true, none of it real. Lost in my thoughts as they rattle around up there. To instead, realize the potential of learning how to direct my thoughts. To dream and to make them be true.

To KNOW, that I am absolutely perfect, exactly the way I am. To know that my life is a direct result of my thoughts. My thoughts have remembered how to dream, there are no limits... As far as you can fall = as far as you can fllllllly!

I alone, can certainly change the world. began to imagine what we can do... together cause, baby, I'm on a roll!

Question EVERYTHING. Learn all your laws. When you don't know what you believe, you believe everything and nothing.

Realize your dream. Spell it out, make it clear, live it, be it, love it, OWN it!!!! It's all yours, and it's just begging to Be.

Inspire, serve, feel joy, be.

Like islands in the ocean, we are one.

#1 for changing the entire world, is falling in love with it as it already is. Same for changing yourself.  There is no #2.

Thoughts become things, choose the good ones!!

Heaven is within us. It has nothing to do with the thoughts of someone else and everything to do with what we choose to think of ourselves.
My dream,  A community, many communities that have united. We live to serve each other. We are honored to provide our God given talents to everyone. We honor the strength of a word, the effects of a smile or a hug.
We are the masters of our thoughts. Our thoughts that ALWAYS become things. We are therefore the masters of our world, we are living exactly as we thought. Knowing the potentials of our dreams, we dream BIG.
We embrace our feelings, our gift from God, our feeling guide us. Our every thought would be a reflection of our hearts.
There are no exceptions, there are no limits. All of our children are prodigy's. It is our job to help them find the talents they have as individuals. We all have something different to offer each other. we are all different, let's rejoice in that.
The things that have been invented in the last 100 years, are small steps toward the places we will go and the things we will do in the next 100.
Our minds are being set free, we are going to find out how to use that other 70-90% of our brains we have lying around.
We respect the honor of everyone's natural desire to be our friend. Everyone loves friends, everyone wants to be yours, you want to be everyones.
There is so much gratitude in every detail of YOU, there is no space left for misery. All your thoughts are too busy dreaming to doubt.
You see the great beauty in grey mornings.
When we dream, we feel a passion, a drive, the ability to see the next step easily, eagerly.
There is no waiting, the beauty is found in every moment. Every experience is used for the lesson it is, and it is learned.
When our intentions and our actions are of the heart, it is all so clear. There are no misunderstandings, our world is motivated by pure love.
Gratitude is the cup that is half-full & consumed with passion for every refreshing, nuturing drop.  The satisfaction of finishing, and washing the fabulous cup that helped you receive.
We are excited to see our sameness, we see it in everyone and everything. Our excitement need never be contained. Ever. Our passion screams from our being, our smiles are real and felt by all.
Our desire to be accepted is direct result of us not realizing our talents and abilities, and not being able to use them to serve, to share with all.
Realizing, helping each other is only helping ourselves. Sharing love, brings more and more and more LOVE.
Let your awareness be an open door for all to follow.
Live every moment like it's a grand step toward your dreams!!!!!
Every moment in the here and now, leaves no time to ponder the future or re-live the past.

The past is filled with each and every person and thing that made me EXACTLY who I am right now, and I am miraculous. Thank you for every single moment.

If I didn't, I wouldn't.  Because i did, Iam.
I live the life of a queen, the magic of life, I have seen.
Each moment I am blessed with the ability to dream.
The heart of life is good, fear is our friend, misunderstood.
When we are not consumed by our repetitive thoughts of everything other than now, we have the space to create, to move to new levels at miraculous speeds because we learn.
Our thoughts become things. If you think it will make you fat, it will. If you take each bite with gratitude, know each bite provides you with the nutrients to be, food will enrich each and everyone of us.
When we are eager to share all that we are, there can be no... less fortunate.
There is NOTHING to worry about.
You cannot change yesterday, you can't predict tomorrow, so live today.
We all know how beautiful we are. Every single cell that conforms to our thoughts. everyone, every ONE.
EnErGy
we are energy. Everything determines the flow, the negative and positive. We must learn how to exchange it, our ability to let it out and absorb just what we need to feel fulfilled, whole.
Sex is the overwhelming need to exchange energy. Things that allow us to dump and reload are grand. We are fascinated by the exchange.
we are greatly entertained by people that know their talent and perfect it, passionately.  We feel our need to find and be our own dreams.
We are fueled by our desire to be, passionately. To offer our services to all.
Limits are only in our mind, our mind can take them away.
Everything in moderation, including moderation. Over abundance in anything, is over.
It is not our job to figure out HOW, it is our job to imagine it. God takes care of the rest. So, what's the reason for hesitation? THINK BIG!
Think real big.
If I whistle, they whistle. If I shout, they shout.  If I love, if I honor, if I have faith, So shall they.
Time is only a tool to help us gather, to make our lives easier. There is only NOW.
Successful people are those who took a thought, made it into and idea, and than ran with it, hard, full of passion. They saw the end and were grateful. They had faith in their idea becoming reality and let God figure out all the minscule details; the lessons to be learned, the people to meet, each step to be taken.  Have faith, a dream and set if free, give it to God, and it can only be.
we are only lazy when we are consumed with the thoughts of if, when we allow thoughts to control us. When we realize that we control our thoughts, our entire reality- we become free.
The closer we get to nature, our mother, the closer we get to our true being.
The more skills we learn, the more pride we have in our ability to serve. The more we feel pride, the bigger our dreams become. The bigger our dreams, the more grand the world becomes.
A great world within, a grand world through out.
What you resist, persists!
All thoughts, become things.
There are no limits, but the ones you put on yourself, in your mind.
You choose to use your silence,, you choose to have no choice.
Teach what you know, with love and gratitude for what you know.
To reach the souls of many men, to find the words to say. Put your passion on paper. It starts with one, one small step, one start.
Beware of being lost in an instant, lest you miss the opportunity to bask in the experience of the moment.
We are not a species that travel alone. We are families, We are a community.
I am teaching, even in the moments I do not realize.
My mind is constantly racing with... how can i make this better and I love it. No longer, what do other people think? but what do I?
Changing MY world, changes THE world.
I have faith that God gave me the perfect people to bounce all of my passions off of. God takes care of me the best way possible, given my gift of free will.
STOP! smell, STOP! listen, STOP! taste, STOP! feel, STOP! What are your senses feeling? What feelings make the whole? Be grateful.
Enjoying myself. Me. There is no other feeling like it. Just loving every single cell of me.
Everything I say to you, I am saying to myself. Appreciating that and learning.
Thanks for being such a great reflection of myself, it makes me able to SOAR!
Each person that sees me feel alive, sees that reflection in themselves. You being alive, helps them see themselves alive, that is the first step.
The emotions you stir, bring me me, til I see you again.
When I look into your eyes, I see the desire to tell the world who you are and what you have to say! Each and EVERY person that comes into our life has an important place. Bigger than we imagine, look for them, and imagine!!
A door has just opened, as another gently closes. The memories of yesterday, the dreams of tomorrow, the love, the peace, the joy of now.
The language you speak confuses me, for the barriers are long and wide. the rage shows, in your eyes.

A little Riddle.... Who am I?

I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command. Half the things I do, you might just as well turn over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.

I am easily managed-you must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons I will do it automatically. I am the servant of all great individuals and, alas, of all failures, as well. Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a human. You may run me for a profit or run me for ruin-it makes no difference to me.

Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

 Who am I?