2009 notebook

I got this lil' notebook I have been carrying around. I wrote in it listening to Ethan play while dreaming about the network... I am writing them here, just to organize and find the cool stuff for the grapevine... (the lines I stole from a song or whatever, I am putting in italics)

Somewhere, we get lost in our minds. We forget to be grateful for every moment. We start thinking what if & if only.  The human mind is amazing, that we don't use it, is tragic.

The chatter, constant, never shuts up in my mind. None of it true, none of it real. Lost in my thoughts as they rattle around up there. To instead, realize the potential of learning how to direct my thoughts. To dream and to make them be true.

To KNOW, that I am absolutely perfect, exactly the way I am. To know that my life is a direct result of my thoughts. My thoughts have remembered how to dream, there are no limits... As far as you can fall = as far as you can fllllllly!

I alone, can certainly change the world. began to imagine what we can do... together cause, baby, I'm on a roll!

Question EVERYTHING. Learn all your laws. When you don't know what you believe, you believe everything and nothing.

Realize your dream. Spell it out, make it clear, live it, be it, love it, OWN it!!!! It's all yours, and it's just begging to Be.

Inspire, serve, feel joy, be.

Like islands in the ocean, we are one.

#1 for changing the entire world, is falling in love with it as it already is. Same for changing yourself.  There is no #2.

Thoughts become things, choose the good ones!!

Heaven is within us. It has nothing to do with the thoughts of someone else and everything to do with what we choose to think of ourselves.
My dream,  A community, many communities that have united. We live to serve each other. We are honored to provide our God given talents to everyone. We honor the strength of a word, the effects of a smile or a hug.
We are the masters of our thoughts. Our thoughts that ALWAYS become things. We are therefore the masters of our world, we are living exactly as we thought. Knowing the potentials of our dreams, we dream BIG.
We embrace our feelings, our gift from God, our feeling guide us. Our every thought would be a reflection of our hearts.
There are no exceptions, there are no limits. All of our children are prodigy's. It is our job to help them find the talents they have as individuals. We all have something different to offer each other. we are all different, let's rejoice in that.
The things that have been invented in the last 100 years, are small steps toward the places we will go and the things we will do in the next 100.
Our minds are being set free, we are going to find out how to use that other 70-90% of our brains we have lying around.
We respect the honor of everyone's natural desire to be our friend. Everyone loves friends, everyone wants to be yours, you want to be everyones.
There is so much gratitude in every detail of YOU, there is no space left for misery. All your thoughts are too busy dreaming to doubt.
You see the great beauty in grey mornings.
When we dream, we feel a passion, a drive, the ability to see the next step easily, eagerly.
There is no waiting, the beauty is found in every moment. Every experience is used for the lesson it is, and it is learned.
When our intentions and our actions are of the heart, it is all so clear. There are no misunderstandings, our world is motivated by pure love.
Gratitude is the cup that is half-full & consumed with passion for every refreshing, nuturing drop.  The satisfaction of finishing, and washing the fabulous cup that helped you receive.
We are excited to see our sameness, we see it in everyone and everything. Our excitement need never be contained. Ever. Our passion screams from our being, our smiles are real and felt by all.
Our desire to be accepted is direct result of us not realizing our talents and abilities, and not being able to use them to serve, to share with all.
Realizing, helping each other is only helping ourselves. Sharing love, brings more and more and more LOVE.
Let your awareness be an open door for all to follow.
Live every moment like it's a grand step toward your dreams!!!!!
Every moment in the here and now, leaves no time to ponder the future or re-live the past.

The past is filled with each and every person and thing that made me EXACTLY who I am right now, and I am miraculous. Thank you for every single moment.

If I didn't, I wouldn't.  Because i did, Iam.
I live the life of a queen, the magic of life, I have seen.
Each moment I am blessed with the ability to dream.
The heart of life is good, fear is our friend, misunderstood.
When we are not consumed by our repetitive thoughts of everything other than now, we have the space to create, to move to new levels at miraculous speeds because we learn.
Our thoughts become things. If you think it will make you fat, it will. If you take each bite with gratitude, know each bite provides you with the nutrients to be, food will enrich each and everyone of us.
When we are eager to share all that we are, there can be no... less fortunate.
There is NOTHING to worry about.
You cannot change yesterday, you can't predict tomorrow, so live today.
We all know how beautiful we are. Every single cell that conforms to our thoughts. everyone, every ONE.
EnErGy
we are energy. Everything determines the flow, the negative and positive. We must learn how to exchange it, our ability to let it out and absorb just what we need to feel fulfilled, whole.
Sex is the overwhelming need to exchange energy. Things that allow us to dump and reload are grand. We are fascinated by the exchange.
we are greatly entertained by people that know their talent and perfect it, passionately.  We feel our need to find and be our own dreams.
We are fueled by our desire to be, passionately. To offer our services to all.
Limits are only in our mind, our mind can take them away.
Everything in moderation, including moderation. Over abundance in anything, is over.
It is not our job to figure out HOW, it is our job to imagine it. God takes care of the rest. So, what's the reason for hesitation? THINK BIG!
Think real big.
If I whistle, they whistle. If I shout, they shout.  If I love, if I honor, if I have faith, So shall they.
Time is only a tool to help us gather, to make our lives easier. There is only NOW.
Successful people are those who took a thought, made it into and idea, and than ran with it, hard, full of passion. They saw the end and were grateful. They had faith in their idea becoming reality and let God figure out all the minscule details; the lessons to be learned, the people to meet, each step to be taken.  Have faith, a dream and set if free, give it to God, and it can only be.
we are only lazy when we are consumed with the thoughts of if, when we allow thoughts to control us. When we realize that we control our thoughts, our entire reality- we become free.
The closer we get to nature, our mother, the closer we get to our true being.
The more skills we learn, the more pride we have in our ability to serve. The more we feel pride, the bigger our dreams become. The bigger our dreams, the more grand the world becomes.
A great world within, a grand world through out.
What you resist, persists!
All thoughts, become things.
There are no limits, but the ones you put on yourself, in your mind.
You choose to use your silence,, you choose to have no choice.
Teach what you know, with love and gratitude for what you know.
To reach the souls of many men, to find the words to say. Put your passion on paper. It starts with one, one small step, one start.
Beware of being lost in an instant, lest you miss the opportunity to bask in the experience of the moment.
We are not a species that travel alone. We are families, We are a community.
I am teaching, even in the moments I do not realize.
My mind is constantly racing with... how can i make this better and I love it. No longer, what do other people think? but what do I?
Changing MY world, changes THE world.
I have faith that God gave me the perfect people to bounce all of my passions off of. God takes care of me the best way possible, given my gift of free will.
STOP! smell, STOP! listen, STOP! taste, STOP! feel, STOP! What are your senses feeling? What feelings make the whole? Be grateful.
Enjoying myself. Me. There is no other feeling like it. Just loving every single cell of me.
Everything I say to you, I am saying to myself. Appreciating that and learning.
Thanks for being such a great reflection of myself, it makes me able to SOAR!
Each person that sees me feel alive, sees that reflection in themselves. You being alive, helps them see themselves alive, that is the first step.
The emotions you stir, bring me me, til I see you again.
When I look into your eyes, I see the desire to tell the world who you are and what you have to say! Each and EVERY person that comes into our life has an important place. Bigger than we imagine, look for them, and imagine!!
A door has just opened, as another gently closes. The memories of yesterday, the dreams of tomorrow, the love, the peace, the joy of now.
The language you speak confuses me, for the barriers are long and wide. the rage shows, in your eyes.

A little Riddle.... Who am I?

I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command. Half the things I do, you might just as well turn over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.

I am easily managed-you must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons I will do it automatically. I am the servant of all great individuals and, alas, of all failures, as well. Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a human. You may run me for a profit or run me for ruin-it makes no difference to me.

Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

 Who am I?

Together, We can

I have a dream.

our people, united.

Our people around the world,

Our people next door,

Our people.

 I believe that this dream

Begins with you, with me.

Together we can reach higher than we can see.

Together we can be.

We must join our hands together

And bow our heads in prayer.

....

We form a bond,

We form a community,

We become one,

We are..

We the people.

....

....

I have been holding an idea close to my heart, I am ready to let it fly. It has grown to big for me. It is time to share it, to find a sturdy foundation for it to come alive. I'm not sure how, I haven't bothered to ask, all that I know is that I am a vessel, my mind, my body and heart.

The "idea" started out as a lot of questions, and becoming aware. Becoming aware of myself and the needs of my neighbors and friends.  I have friends that have money and no time, I have friends that have time and no money, friends that have a job and no car, and ones that have a car and no job. Friends that can cook, friends… I think you get the point. It drove me mad, knowing I sit here, with the ability, and the desire to help if only I knew where to start?

Then I started to become aware of fear. Fear so great that they turn their heads to everything around them. All these people running around trying so hard to keep their heads above water, ALONE.

We are not a species  that travel alone.  We are individuals who must be a part of a companionship, a family, a village, a community. We all desire to be needed, to be allowed to share our talents, to be proud of our individualism. We love to work together when there is a common goal at hand, when it is fun, when we feel like we are contributing.

This idea started out as a group of people getting together, just to get together. Get together and talk, share, dream, live, create and enjoy. This is a huge umbrella for the things that a group can do. The ideas I was coming up with led me to our children being in a group. The imaginations of our children is abundant, we need to start listening and giving them a platform to share their ideas. We need to give them permission and support to change the world. A group men that  get together and tackle big projects, with and for each other, together. (a house needing to be painted is an enormous task for one, and a fun afternoon for a group).

The point, the dream is us, together.

The dream grew again, how could I involve my mom and the rest of my family across the country?  How could I get my mom to form a group? This brings in the internet, an awesome tool that can be a great link to a global group, a global village. If we were to combine all of these amazing websites and programs into MYLIFE, a place where we can come together, a hub to create plans, dreams, schedules. A place to trade our goods and services, a place to plan events and exercise together, across the world and down the street. A place where we could even store our important documents, A myspace, facebook, twitter, youtube, wiki, groups, business, all in one.

....

If we join together, neighbor to neighbor, friend to friend, mother to daughter, consumer to salesman, we can began to trade goods, talents, plans and dreams.

The idea of groups reaching around the globe is envisioned through the pyramid effect.

There are many avenues for this idea to stretch and grow. The groups give opportunity for EVERYONE to come together, no matter what your religion, color, or origin.

Together, we are bigger than money, more than politics, healthier than the health plan. The permission to start a group allows everyone to be involved without joining, believing or becoming anything… just because you are you. Your opinions and ideas matter. You are important to us becoming one.

....

I have begun a bubble chart to get some of these thoughts and ideas out, to see them and stop trying to keep them organized in my head. I have started at the core of the entire idea, together.

Together we will find hope, success, friendship, health, values, growth, opportunity, a healthy environment, exchange of services (rather than money), etc. Together we will inspire, mentor, influence, serve, pray, and love.

....

In summary, this is an idea, a way for us to come together. A way for us to reach out our hands, cross bridges, together.

....

When we are eager to share all that we are, there can be no less fortunate.

....

We are ready.

....

Justina Kerstein

....

A little about myself, I am a dreamer, I am an optimist, a softie, a lover and a friend. I know that there is heaven, here, on earth waiting for us. I doubt, and I have feared, I have wondered if I am doing the right thing. Most importantly, I have faith. I have faith in humankind, in America, in the world. I will live my life serving God, listening to his whispers.

I don't know where this letter is going to travel, I have faith that it will lay into the most appropriate hand. I have a dream.

a blustry poem

Is this the mood
I have been waiting on?

Is this the feeling
I'm searching to reflect?

Fear is a monstrous cloud
of intimate rain drops.
Each fleeting feeling
put emotions at bay.

Words escape my thoughts.
None known to relay
to you, my heart.

Patience is a  virtue.
Restless
Show me the way.

dreaming, awake.

wow. There are millions of thoughts rushing through me, trying to get to my fingertips first. It is particularly overwhelming to think about the changes my mind, body and thoughts have come through in the last year.
I have asked so many questions of myself and the world. I have found faith, peace and love within myself and the feeling is fierce.
Questioning everything has been my quest lately, being aware of my thoughts has become much more pleasant. Changing habits that have been close for 30+ years has created many challenges on every different level. It seems the habits that were the most difficult to change, were the ones that seemed to be  huge umbrellas, effecting much more than I could possibly see at the time.
Anyone that knows me, knows that I am a dreamer. I have traveled through life, dreaming an enormous dream, learning every step of the way. I have seen the end results of my dream, I have felt it, tasted it, and I embrace the day that I can share it with all of you.
Things are coming together, the language is becoming easier to understand.
xoxox
justina
Writing is an amazing outlet for me, it allows me to reflect myself, to myself.  I read an awesome saying on my yogi tea  the other day. It said, " to learn, read. to know, write. to master, teach".
I have found, to understand, love.
Much love to all xoxoxoxo

weight

Justina's Story..:
I've been practicing The Secret as you all know....I'd like to share the how I changed my mind about my body.

I realized that when I looked at myself in the mirror, my eyes went straight to my fat here,.. my pimple there..  my hair looked terrible etc..., and on and on. I had been refusing to buy the size of jeans I needed for a couple years.. now because I was going to go buy ALL new clothes for myself... as soon as I got to the size I WANTED to be.
Anyway, enough of that... After learning to pay more attention to my thoughts, I thought about what I intended to do Right now, instead of tomorrow.

I cleaned out my closet. (I kept a couple of my favorite (when I get skinny) clothes, but tucked them way in the back, hiding them from myself!).

I went out shopping for new clothes, in MY size. If this is me, this is what I got to work with, I better start decorating it!
I stood and looked in the mirror for a while... This was hard,.. I cried.. until.. I smiled. I found the things that I like about my body... I like the curve in my calve I like to look in my own eyes... I like my neck... I found just a couple things and I started concentrating on them. from this point on I
looked at these things and complimented myself on them... Slowly and with a lot of times catching myself in the middle of a train of criticisms,.. my body started changing.
I noticed little things at first... I started enjoying looking at more and more parts of my body. Honestly, I don't remember ever looking at myself in the mirror before. I have always looked at parts of my body 1 at a time (always the bad parts..) when I looked. I saw my hair,.. then that zit, complaint by complaint.

It was only 1 month before the clothes I had bought were loose...

Story.. after.. story.., exchanging.. habits for habits.

Small.. changes, little habits I have changed, have snowballed.. into an amazing love.
xoxoxo
Justina

If you wish to lose weight, then the most important thing—more than anything else—is to be in joy and to be happy.. now, despite your weight. If you can be in joy now, to the point where you feel so good that the weight doesn't matter so much anymore, then it will fall away... The only thing keeping the weight there is your resistance to it, and when you are in joy you will let go of your resistance about your weight.

If you feel bad about your body, that is a powerful feeling, and you will continue to attract feeling bad about your body. You will never change your body if you are critical of it and find fault with it, and in fact you will attract more weight to you. Praise and bless every square inch of your body. Think about all the perfect things about You. As you think perfect thoughts, as you feel good about You, you are on the frequency of your perfect weight, and you are summoning perfection.